W
Brewing the Elixir of Immortality requires dragon blood, phoenix ash, and starlight. Brewing the Potion of Eternal Tuesday requires tepid water, a calendar, and a deep sense of boredom.
Mervin the Mediocre drank it by mistake. He thought it was tea.
He woke up the next morning. It was Tuesday. The weather was partly cloudy. He had oatmeal for breakfast. He went to work at the scroll archives.
He woke up the next morning. It was Tuesday. The weather was partly cloudy. He had oatmeal.
"Wait," Mervin said on the seventh Tuesday. "Something is wrong."
He tried to change it. He robbed a bank. The guards caught him, scolded him, and he woke up in his bed. It was Tuesday. The gold was gone. The criminal record was erased.
He tried to be a hero. He saved a cat from a tree. The next day, the cat was back in the tree. It was Tuesday.
It was a cage of mediocrity. No consequences. No progress. Just an endless loop of the most boring day of the week.
Mervin began to study magic. Not to become powerful, but to break the loop. He had infinite time. He read every scroll in the archive. He mastered pyromancy on the 400th Tuesday. He mastered necromancy on the 1000th Tuesday (he raised a skeleton, they played cards, the day reset).
By the millionth Tuesday, Mervin was the most powerful sorcerer in existence. He knew the true name of the wind. He could unmake matter with a thought.
But he was still Mervin. And it was still Tuesday.
Finally, he realized the key. The potion wasn't held by magic; it was held by intent. It fed on boredom.
Mervin walked out of his house. He didn't use magic. He didn't do anything grand. He walked to the town square and started dancing. Badly. He sang a song he made up on the spot about a turnip.
People stared. They laughed. Mervin laughed with them. For the first time in an eternity, he was having fun. Genuine, unpredictable fun.
The sky rippled. The clouds moved.
Mervin went to sleep with a smile.
He woke up. The sun was shining. The birds were singing a different song.
"Thank the gods," Mervin wept. "It's Wednesday."